Vinyasa is life: a cycle of sequential and meaningful events. It has become my life within life. I love it, dearly. As a practitioner and teacher, I cannot think of any better thing for my constant state of insanity. I have tried most types of yoga out there from Iyengar to Restorative, and while my body definitely needs those classes, nothing seems to calm my mind like a vinyasa class. Strange but true. Give me a challenging, balanced flow with poses not held too long to keep my thoughts clear, a rockin playlist, and a caring teacher, and I am in yoga bliss.
But this very style of yoga is the same one that is killing me. Or should l say I am killing it, my body that is.
This was the first class I walked into. This is the style I teach. This is my comfort zone.
Crap, my back is acting up, AGAIN. I am in the process of rehabbing my practice. My body tried to make me go to rehab over the last several years, but I said no no no.
ON MODIFICATIONS. The very word sounds abnormal. It’s alright I’m finding out, in fact its necessary to heal. Stepping back to move forward. Life does that sometimes. Slaps you in the face and shakes you to say, “Hey, listen, you are hurting me/you/your sanity, stop!”
Having been challenged since childhood to right now has made me into one tough cookie. Unfortunately, tough cookies don’t know when to stop. I think pain is normal. It’s abnormal to not be at a certain level of discomfort. I’ve been addicted to the burn. Well I’m about burnt to a crisp. But if I really want to develop as a yogi, I have to find flexibility in that trouble maker upstairs; the brain. Changing my thoughts has proven to be a slow process for this stubbornassana.
So I compromise, staying in feeling only as long as that feeling doesn’t hurt. Bend me, don’t break me. I’m developing a vinyasa within my Vinyasa. Vinyasa 2.0. Updated, recharging and working the bugs out. In return, I am more efficient as I work feeling by feeling instead of pose by pose. I am in the process of healing the body. I am even exploring a restorative home practice. In retrospect, I know it took a whole lotta flowing to quiet the mind to get even here. Baby steps. After all, Rome wasn’t built in a day.
Maybe I am becoming a yogi after all.
Tell me, have you experienced something like this?