When I was in high school, we had an assignment to think of synonyms for the skin, the Integumentary System. One of the ones I came up with was bag. Why I still remember it to this day is beyond me, but it came back to me today. It makes sense right? The bag that holds everything in. A very strong bag but also very fragile.
As I go deeper into my yoga studies, learning what meditation and bliss is, I go back to the bag. We can put things in/out, we have things in there that we might not have put there. Things that we picked up along the way unknowingly. Things we shoved to the bottom. Our bodies are so full of surprises. The bag can break and it can twist, create blockages and swell. It can rip, harden and soften.
But if we can accept everything, the good, the bad, the guts, experiences and thoughts, they body floats like a plastic bag. Lightened from the strain of expectations and regret, attachment and ambition, I think this might be that serene state of bliss, or acceptance. It is what it is. No amount of love or pain can change it. Not even change changes it. Because it’s only a vessel for life. And no one knows what comes with that mess. So the body just is: accepting to all, penetrable by all, and guilty of all of the above.
The bag holds pleasure, it fills with pain but it has this unexplainable power to heal others and self from what is within. In yoga, things in my bag get re-arranged, aligned and and sometimes I sneak a peak inside glimpsing at the craziness. And by savasana, if I’m lucky I will feel like a plastic bag suspended in air.
It’s the energy (life), this will inside the body that keeps us alive. It is necessary to float. The energy we provide and feel is not meditative, it’s powerful and moving, and we must move. We must change, or we simply won’t and we will die. So I see it all the same: life is energy. Pain is energy. Love is energy. That is it.
These days are full of risks for me. Mostly in the last two years. I ended a long relationship. My only long one. I left a career. Recently I am leaving another job for yup you guessed it, yoga. And you can bet MY bottom dollar I am so scared.
Although, things are happening. And the bag is moving! I feel the energy, even if its scattered, it’s there. Honestly, it’s all I’ve got in my bag.
So I take energy and put it into what I believe. Whether it is a person, an idea or a job. It’s so real and surreal. There is hope there and I can literally feel it, almost touch it and I have an idea of what it will taste like. I think it could go away as things change, time passes and if we don’t change too, the energy dies. So why not do, tell, and live now? Are you floating?