Yoga Isn’t Fun Anymore

I can remember that as a kid I used to love picking up a ball and a glove and playing catch with my best friend. I would throw until my arm was sore. Until my mom yelled at me to get in the car. As I got older I still threw, but what once was done for pleasure and competition with myself  turned into feeling suffocating judgement from others, self-criticism, and seldom joy as I attended college on an athletic scholarship. Fast forward to 15 years later. I  am no longer playing catch, I am no longer coaching as a profession. But I still remember the pure feeling I got from throwing back then. I found it again. I just replaced the ball and glove with breath and movement.

Creative Commons License photo credit: jurvetson

Duh, yoga. I remember that same pure feeling from my first few months of classes or (as I call it) whirlwind of falling in yoga love. It’s been 17 months since I took my first yoga class, and now I find myself  a teacher in training, a DJ of yoga classes, a yoga blogger; completely immersed in the yoga community. But something definitely started going downhill the last few months. Lately, I’ve found yoga isn’t fun anymore. Hear me out.

I became painfully (literally) aware of my body’s inflexibility over the last year. I went through denial, frustration, anger, feeling lost and finally on path to exposing my own inner light. This is actually the good part, trust me.

Then I was exposed to the rest. Yoga politics, yoga commercialization, yoga dissonance. Remove the word yoga from the three times used in the last sentence and what’s left? Definitely not yoga.

Creative Commons License photo credit: kouk

Like a snake shedding skin, I slither through each pose out of the politics, the commercialization and the dissonance that seems to be associated with yoga these days. I battle with staying true to my “why” of practicing yoga in every chattarunga. I breathe through the shit around me to reach acceptance of it all.  When I feel myself falling victim to the skepticism, the over-every-which-way-to-Sunday-analyzation of yoga in the media/blogs/critics, I am no longer doing yoga. I am no longer playing catch.

It’s true. I am no longer innocent, no longer blind. Yoga is a fire-igniting, spirtual-awakening, life-altering practice that is constantly in the public eye of speculation, attack and prodding. But what force that is so powerful, so uniting and so deep, isnt?

So I still play. And I’ve made a few lifelong friends who do too. On the mat, staying true to a raw practice, I can accept the skeptics who try to dissect my yoga. It is my yoga. I am still playing…on the mat. I am still coaching… on the mat. How do you?

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- who has written 24 posts on Yoga Modern.

DJ Sukha (AKA: Amber Kavehkar) is the resident Yoga Modern DJ and a regular contributor on the blog and often contributes her downloadable mashups on our Facebook page Amber fell in love with the mashup of mind, body, and vinyasa flow at her very first yoga class. Already deeply immersed in the music world, she decided to pick up spinning in order to offer something new in the music and yoga scenes. Amber's favorite quote is, "When words fail, music speaks." In Sanskrit, SUKHA is often translated as “happiness," "ease" or "pleasure." In Buddhist literature, the Pali term is used to describe laic pursuits, meditative absorptions and intra-psychic phenomena. DJ Sukha creates eclectic mixes of indie, progressive, electronica, trance, world & dubstep music in order to mesh sound and movement. She collaborates with yoga teachers, event organizers, and studio owners to offer live spinning at yoga classes and events. DJ Sukha is available for regular classes, events, and fundraisers or private parties. Click here for more information on gigs, booking, and merchandise.

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